Socially Dead

There is a reason I call my daughter the PITA. She can be a serious pest. (She can be the B word too, but I'm not going there today.) Once she decided that she wanted a blog, she pestered me. She kept saying she wanted to call it Sissies Go Home. She said it was a blog for the socially dead. I thought that was a pretty interesting phrase. I Whois'd it. Available. Then I came up with the tagline, Life is Tough, when you have no Life. The PITA got very excited. I told her the cost of a domain and hosting. That's when she said, "ME LIKEY. I WANT."

Spoiled brat.

So with the kind help of Jester, who set up Wordpress, email, and fixed my header dilemma, the PITA now has a blog. A blog that is far more stylish and cool than mine. A blog that will probably garner far more attention than her attention whore mother. Meh. I can live with that.

So please stop by Socially Dead and say hi to Motley. She already knows the likes of Jester, Fab, Dave's bad monkey, Karl's phallus, Matt's Sunday Disservice, Shiny (the girl), and MaryO. Next thing you know,she'll be doing a duet with Fab at the Big Honking Duet Show!

Before I sign off today I want to share some humpday hotness. I miss hotness. I need more hotness in my life. Today, I'm sharing Will Chalker with you. You straight men need to head to the bottom of this post. I'll share something else with you there. And now, here's Will, he of the luscious wheat colored hair and long lean... um muscles. I have a host of Will pics because my friend Jen used him to represent one of her characters at the Bar. At first, I wasn't all that taken with Will, but you know, those muscles grow on you. And once I saw him smiling in a pic (a Paco Rabanne Black ad) I was a goner.

For the men I have someone whom all the woman seem to think is hot. A little topless Eliza Dushku anyone? She certainly is hot. Personally, I liked Liz from last week better but Eliza's pretty damn hot too. Eliza too was chosen by Jen to represent one of her characters. Jen has an eye for what's hot. And, no. She doesn't have a blog. For those of you who write though, you will find her at JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood message board, where she's a moderator. I'm always envious when she says she's talked to the author on the phone. I can't be too envious though. She's gotten me every one of the BDB books signed!

I hope you enjoyed the Humpday Hotness, and if you get the chance, stop by Socially Dead. Have a great Wednesday!

Freakshow

I'm a little burned out this Friday. Way too much shit coming down in different areas of my life. I seriously need to use up some of those vacation hours that I keep stockpiling. So, in the freakshow that is my life, I first give you a story about my kid and a penis. Oh, wait. Heh. Here's the real intro:

I'm guest blogging at Bluepaintred! (I'm not w00ting out of deference to Karl, who says w00t is not a word. Of course, it's not, Karl. It's a sound. Like MEH.)

Next, I have for you the Slogan thing that Dave did. Mine, in keeping with the theme of my life, was... freaky.

Your Slogan Should Be

Winter; What You'd Eat if You Lived on Mars

The Slogan Generator

Next up is something I cannot even articulate. It pisses me off and raises my blood pressure. I'm sure you will find this amusing. I look at it and want to strangle my teenager.


Another thing in the freakshow of my life is that my damned back still hurts. In fact, I'm starting to feel like my left hip is out of whack. Then I remember falling out of the shower onto that hip about 4 years ago. I have a keloid on the hip now from that fall. But it really feels out of whack. Oh, and the doctor I loved so much... came back to work after having a baby and dismissed me. ME! I have no doctor now. My asthma and I feel like crying. I mean, her name was American. She spoke English without an accent. She had a surfboard on the wall of her office. I feel abandoned.

I'm depressed. I want to spend money I don't have. And everyone's blog made me smile tonight. Except Jason X's. I actually laughed at his. Okay, maybe I chuckled at Diesel's soda badger. But nothing has made me really really laugh since Fab posted the mummy with the caption I Can Has Moisturizer? And even freakier than that, this is my favorite LOL:



Last night, I gave Jester 3/4's of my hotties. What was I thinking? Now, we'll be posting the same guys! Okay, I saved some good ones for myself. After all, I love them more than he does. I think. Shit. I think I got the pics off some gay guy's site. So maybe Jester does love hotties more than me. All gay men seem to have the best hotties on their sites. But do they have... Ian Somerhalder? I think not! HA!


And speaking of hotties, Hilly's car just might get supplanted in my heart. Turnbaby's car is THUD. Oh, how I love the smell of octane in the morning... Injected engines full throttle on a long stretch of open highway. Just not the one where James Dean died. I've seen the weird ass monument to him out there in the middle of nothing. It's a piece of silver metal wrapped around a tree. It's insulting if you think about how he died.

Freaky might be my life at the moment, but if you haven't seen Matt's Pope hat, check it out. He was way hotter than Benny and I spent more time on his site this morning than I did watching Benny's mass. And if the Pope hat is too reverent for you, best go look at Hellohahanarf's first Half Nekkid Thursday. I have never seen a woman so happy to hold her feet in the air when the camera was rolling. I know it's not her most recent blog post, but shit. All of her posts are worth reading and this one is worth ogling. Heh.

I think there was something else I was gonna talk about in this freakshow that is my life, but I can't remember what it is. So you will just have to live with this fucked up post. How bad can it be anyway? It doesn't have a fake naked Hermione or Harry Potter's real foreskin. No one but Avitable could post that anyway. I don't eat or drink when I visit his site. I'd go broke replacing monitors if I did. Wait. I already am broke.

Now, that I've pimped and ass kissed my way through a freakshow of a Friday post, here's a song for you since I didn't have one this past Tuesday. I wonder if you will get the irony of it... Oh, and BTW, if I didn't pimp you out today, remind me that I owe you a toe licking or something if we ever meet.



Okay, I'm outta here. I'm going to bed with Anderson Cooper. Hopefully, I'll get to sleep before Lou Dobbs comes on. He's not nearly as good a bed partner as Anderson. Happy Freakshow Friday peoples!

How I Almost Got Karled

Visitors to my blog are usually most welcome. However, as those of you who read my Monday rant know, I don't always deal well with PAQs. Well, while I was ranting about PAQs from a website that shall remain nameless, someone from my own workplace was going through these very archives. Not to find out more about me, but to find things that could be shown to the management of the company I work for. This wasn't something someone found by accident. So no longer can I come here and vent or rant to get things off my chest. Some things have become off limits for fear that my child and I will not be able to afford the roof over our heads.

My six word memoir meant nothing to his person. This person doesn't care if I have a heart. Or feelings. Or a child to support. This person ignored every GOOD thing I had to say about my work. And I've mentioned a number of GOOD things because I really do like where I work.

I would feel violated if it wasn't so predictable in this world we live in. People don't think about the fact that Britney Spears can sing really well. All they want to focus on is the fact that she's having a mental breakdown. How the hell is that any of our business anyway? But this media rich diet we live on dictates that the meat is always sweeter the closer to the bone... so cut deeper to get the dirt and fuck it if it hurts anyone!

Shiny told me a story not long ago about going to a restaurant to have dinner with her DH. She was unwinding from a rough day, telling him about how her supervisor had been treating her in an unprofessional manner. Lo and behold, who walks in? That very supervisor. The world being what it is, had that supervisor overheard her personal conversation with her husband, Shiny could have been fired. The supervisor was already treating her in an unprofessional manner and creating a climate of fear in the office. I don't know if Shiny was afraid for her job, but many people in her shoes would have been. So even words to your husband can be used against you in this world we live in. Cause guess what? There really is no such thing as freedom of speech. We pay for every freaking thing we say or do.

I didn't get Karled. It wasn't even brought up. It was left to the HR Manager to speak to me. She had some sage words for me, which I'm not going to repeat. There are going to be a number of things I won't repeat anymore. At least not out here. I've been toying with the idea of creating a private blog so I can vent as much as I want without fear of repercussion. If you noticed this morning, there were 71 posts on this blog. Not any more. I saved the deleted ones, including my last TT. If I do create a private blog, I'll drop my deleted posts there... as a shrine to Karl.

If any of you missed Karl's story, here is the link: I'm Not Going to Say I Got Dooced, But I Did

I guess I'm not as cynical as I thought I was. I was shocked that Karl was karled. I was shocked that Dave got hate mail over a cartoon. I felt a twinge of hurt when the guys in the sim took one girl's "joke" about my name on a bathroom wall and turned it into a big funny haha thing...when it sure seemed to me that she was calling me a slut without calling me one... Maybe I'm too tenderhearted to be a cynic. But you know what hurts the worst of any of the shit that's come down recently? That someone who really does care about people, is never seen in that light. Maybe THAT is the real reason that this is my memoir.
Next time, read ALL of the words. Not just the ones you think are disgusting. Because when you read one post without reading all 70... and you insist on judging me by that post... you've just told the world exactly what you are, without me having to say - or write - a word.

Tuesday Tune, A Girl With Fangs, and My Ho-ness

Over at the Bar, Mary made the very valid point that I am not a pimp, I'm a ho. So I guess it isn't being a pimp to ask everyone to stop by Blogs We Luv today to read what they've posted about me! It's an exciting thing to me. As exciting as the prospect of Fab making me cry on his show when he pops my cherry. Being a ho is fun!

I also referenced myself as the Proprietress of PornFest over at Blogography. Dave took that in stride. I think it's because Fab says such outrageous stuff all the time that you can pretty much say anything to someone who knows him and they will swallow it whole. Not that I'm NOT the Proprietress of PornFest. When Rott turns on PornFest, I'm the only girl in the house, 'cept for the ones on every TV in the house. Since it's my house, that makes me the Proprietress. I really don't mind PornFest. I actually like porn. I even like some of the lesbian porn Dave was trying to decide on. Those of you who have been reading this blog since its inception, oh, two months ago, know that I like porn. Those of you who are new to this den of iniquity... not only do I like porn, I like butt sex. GASP! Shocking, isn't it? I guess I really am a ho...

I did ho myself around in a few places. I posted about Fab's radio show at the Bar and the horse racing sim. I posted at Zanctuary too, and I even mentioned being on Today's Gripe. I haven't hit up all the places I go yet, but it's early days. By May, everyone I know will be eager to tune into Fab's show to hear my smoky Stevie Nicks voice.

My Tuesday tune is a favorite of mine. I had it on my MySpace for quite awhile, I liked it so much. I hope you enjoy it! I put it up today not just because it's Tuesday and I like the song, but because I have another taste of the Bar for you - it's the Girl With Fangs again, Lex Valentine. In this post, Lex goes to her friend Dominic's house because the band she manages is there. The band, The Dark Ones of the Disgraced, - or the DOD - is falling apart. They lost their bassist and their drummer just lost his mate. The drummer is in bad shape, and Lex is going to try to shore him up because the band has a album to finish. Dominic Solent, the band's producer, is at his wit's end and hopes that Lex can whip these guys back into shape. This is Lex's first time seeing the guys since she found out she's pregnant, so there's a few jokes in there about her husband Alaric's sperm. Hope you like it! Click HERE to read the post.

I have a buttload of work to do for the Bar. I'm feeling a little rejuvenated though because we got ourselves a new writer today. We welcomed our third male writer to the Bar. He's another hot Scotsman, a close friend of our current hot Scotsman, Dee. Dee and Nath bring a whole new element to the Bar Story, and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.

One last thing on my ho-ness. I'm wondering if it was my pimpage of myself that got Diesel to stop by and post a comment. I mean, to me, that's like Marcus Schenkenberg knocking on my door and asking if I wanna go drink a pitcher or two of margaritas with him. I love Diesel. He's like the penultimate in funny. I could never aspire to be even half as amusing as his pinkie. Okay, Dave's cuter, Matt has a bigger organ, and Fab can fist, but Diesel has... cache. I dunno. I about peed my pants when I saw he left a comment on here. My ho-ey self totally preened. Mary called it alright. I am such a freaking ho. Happy Tuesday peeps!