Weiners!

It's been a tough day. I had a number of decisions to make. I'm not going to go into all of them right now, but suffice to say that this blog will be a-changing! Soon. Changes for the better. The downside is that you'll all have to update your blogrolls because a new address is part of the package.

Part of the changes coming to my "Batty" blog are due in part to the fact that I have weiners, er winners for you! Yes, the tagline search has come to an end. An unexpected end. Here's the deal: I loved everything that was offered up. I couldn't make up my mind. David from BellaDaddyBlog sent me "Fangs For the Memories", but that's the name of a Kathy Love book. (A really good book too!) I liked the Absurdist's "Sunlight Is Overrated". I liked it a lot. But it reminded me of Britt's tagline. I'll come back to this tagline in a minute.

So, I was still pondering the taglines while Jester helped me out with the new Wordpress theme. I mentioned to him how I changed the verbiage on the Comment Luv to say that it's trying to sink its fangs into your last post, please wait while it finds a vein. Jester laughs and replies, "I vant to suck your blog!" BINGO. My kid and I both went, "THAT'S IT!" In one fell swoop, without even meaning to, Jester won.

Now, going back to the Absurdist's tagline, I kept mulling it over in my head because I really did like it a lot. However, to move the idea away from Britt's tagline, I kept thinking of it as "Sunlight Sucks". Last night, while letting WP kick my ass and make me cry, I got the idea of just moving the whole kit and kaboodle. I mean, wouldn't it make it a little harder for the hunter from my office to find me? Not that I'm hiding. I'd just like to make it harder for them on principle. So the Absurdist also wins. I registered sunlightsucks.com tonight.

And there we have it. Two weiners, er winners! Congratulations to Jester and the Absurdist. I am going to try to make a t-shirt with the bat logo on it now. If that doesn't work out, they can still have the Bar t-shirt. A t-shirt with fangs. Yummo. Thanks to everyone who participated. I appreciate the effort you all put into my need for a tagline.

One last thing, thanks to everyone for visiting Socially Dead. My kid has now pasted her underwear clad ass on her new blog for Half Naked Thursday. She even offered a crotch shot for next week. OY. How did I know she would fit in this well? Happy Friday to all! MUAH!

Socially Dead

There is a reason I call my daughter the PITA. She can be a serious pest. (She can be the B word too, but I'm not going there today.) Once she decided that she wanted a blog, she pestered me. She kept saying she wanted to call it Sissies Go Home. She said it was a blog for the socially dead. I thought that was a pretty interesting phrase. I Whois'd it. Available. Then I came up with the tagline, Life is Tough, when you have no Life. The PITA got very excited. I told her the cost of a domain and hosting. That's when she said, "ME LIKEY. I WANT."

Spoiled brat.

So with the kind help of Jester, who set up Wordpress, email, and fixed my header dilemma, the PITA now has a blog. A blog that is far more stylish and cool than mine. A blog that will probably garner far more attention than her attention whore mother. Meh. I can live with that.

So please stop by Socially Dead and say hi to Motley. She already knows the likes of Jester, Fab, Dave's bad monkey, Karl's phallus, Matt's Sunday Disservice, Shiny (the girl), and MaryO. Next thing you know,she'll be doing a duet with Fab at the Big Honking Duet Show!

Before I sign off today I want to share some humpday hotness. I miss hotness. I need more hotness in my life. Today, I'm sharing Will Chalker with you. You straight men need to head to the bottom of this post. I'll share something else with you there. And now, here's Will, he of the luscious wheat colored hair and long lean... um muscles. I have a host of Will pics because my friend Jen used him to represent one of her characters at the Bar. At first, I wasn't all that taken with Will, but you know, those muscles grow on you. And once I saw him smiling in a pic (a Paco Rabanne Black ad) I was a goner.

For the men I have someone whom all the woman seem to think is hot. A little topless Eliza Dushku anyone? She certainly is hot. Personally, I liked Liz from last week better but Eliza's pretty damn hot too. Eliza too was chosen by Jen to represent one of her characters. Jen has an eye for what's hot. And, no. She doesn't have a blog. For those of you who write though, you will find her at JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood message board, where she's a moderator. I'm always envious when she says she's talked to the author on the phone. I can't be too envious though. She's gotten me every one of the BDB books signed!

I hope you enjoyed the Humpday Hotness, and if you get the chance, stop by Socially Dead. Have a great Wednesday!

Freakshow

I'm a little burned out this Friday. Way too much shit coming down in different areas of my life. I seriously need to use up some of those vacation hours that I keep stockpiling. So, in the freakshow that is my life, I first give you a story about my kid and a penis. Oh, wait. Heh. Here's the real intro:

I'm guest blogging at Bluepaintred! (I'm not w00ting out of deference to Karl, who says w00t is not a word. Of course, it's not, Karl. It's a sound. Like MEH.)

Next, I have for you the Slogan thing that Dave did. Mine, in keeping with the theme of my life, was... freaky.

Your Slogan Should Be

Winter; What You'd Eat if You Lived on Mars

The Slogan Generator

Next up is something I cannot even articulate. It pisses me off and raises my blood pressure. I'm sure you will find this amusing. I look at it and want to strangle my teenager.


Another thing in the freakshow of my life is that my damned back still hurts. In fact, I'm starting to feel like my left hip is out of whack. Then I remember falling out of the shower onto that hip about 4 years ago. I have a keloid on the hip now from that fall. But it really feels out of whack. Oh, and the doctor I loved so much... came back to work after having a baby and dismissed me. ME! I have no doctor now. My asthma and I feel like crying. I mean, her name was American. She spoke English without an accent. She had a surfboard on the wall of her office. I feel abandoned.

I'm depressed. I want to spend money I don't have. And everyone's blog made me smile tonight. Except Jason X's. I actually laughed at his. Okay, maybe I chuckled at Diesel's soda badger. But nothing has made me really really laugh since Fab posted the mummy with the caption I Can Has Moisturizer? And even freakier than that, this is my favorite LOL:



Last night, I gave Jester 3/4's of my hotties. What was I thinking? Now, we'll be posting the same guys! Okay, I saved some good ones for myself. After all, I love them more than he does. I think. Shit. I think I got the pics off some gay guy's site. So maybe Jester does love hotties more than me. All gay men seem to have the best hotties on their sites. But do they have... Ian Somerhalder? I think not! HA!


And speaking of hotties, Hilly's car just might get supplanted in my heart. Turnbaby's car is THUD. Oh, how I love the smell of octane in the morning... Injected engines full throttle on a long stretch of open highway. Just not the one where James Dean died. I've seen the weird ass monument to him out there in the middle of nothing. It's a piece of silver metal wrapped around a tree. It's insulting if you think about how he died.

Freaky might be my life at the moment, but if you haven't seen Matt's Pope hat, check it out. He was way hotter than Benny and I spent more time on his site this morning than I did watching Benny's mass. And if the Pope hat is too reverent for you, best go look at Hellohahanarf's first Half Nekkid Thursday. I have never seen a woman so happy to hold her feet in the air when the camera was rolling. I know it's not her most recent blog post, but shit. All of her posts are worth reading and this one is worth ogling. Heh.

I think there was something else I was gonna talk about in this freakshow that is my life, but I can't remember what it is. So you will just have to live with this fucked up post. How bad can it be anyway? It doesn't have a fake naked Hermione or Harry Potter's real foreskin. No one but Avitable could post that anyway. I don't eat or drink when I visit his site. I'd go broke replacing monitors if I did. Wait. I already am broke.

Now, that I've pimped and ass kissed my way through a freakshow of a Friday post, here's a song for you since I didn't have one this past Tuesday. I wonder if you will get the irony of it... Oh, and BTW, if I didn't pimp you out today, remind me that I owe you a toe licking or something if we ever meet.



Okay, I'm outta here. I'm going to bed with Anderson Cooper. Hopefully, I'll get to sleep before Lou Dobbs comes on. He's not nearly as good a bed partner as Anderson. Happy Freakshow Friday peoples!

Marcus Monday - After the Duets Are Done

Before I get started on the fun stuff, everyone please send Kyra Sutra some positive energy. Things are not going so well for her, and she could use all the good wishes, comfort, and support we can give her. I wish she lived nearby so I could coax her to eat and take care of herself, and just give her a hug and let her know people care about her.

Since it's Marcus Monday and I'm bumming, I need a serious dose of my favorite hot guy today. Umm umm. He does look delicious there. Now, do you see why writing Alaric Kohl curls my toes? If you didn't read my guest blogger post by Lex and Car, you should. When they talk about Alaric, it's all about Marcus to me since Marcus is the physical representation of Alaric. He really does make my achy back feel better, just to look at him. Makes me wonder how he'd make me feel in person. I bet my back would get better right away. Heh.

Speaking of yummy men, three blogs with hotness come to mind. Jester, whom I only just checked out this weekend, has some hotness on his blog from Friday. The middle dude was yummo. He had the hottest eyes. The second hottie is David over at BellaDaddyBlog, who posted 2 pics. One was recent and the other was from when we were in high school. If you hop over to his blog you'll see that I sure can pick em. I always did have a good eye for a hot man. It helps that David is the sweetest, funniest guy ever too. The third hot dude is Karl from Secondhand Tryptophan. Karl has been writing about sex lately. He does this very well too. And his blog is looking smoking hot these days, all new and gorgeous. Stop by and check out these yummy dudes.

Did you check out the LOL cat pic I made on Sunday? It's Neko and Swirly. Neko whose name is now PREGO. Anyone want what is sure to be a beautiful *cough* maniacal *cough* kitten? Yes, my kid let me down once again. I know that this is what teens do to you, promise and lag at following through, but I am upset nonetheless. It does not help that the PITA tells me, "Things could be worse, Mom. I could be pregnant." I did not need to hear that.

So now, I am at the Marcus awards for this Monday. It was a slow week for reacharounds, er comments. Some bloggers were taking some time off. Others were just busy. And I'm sure some just didn't wanna read my shit. It's all good. Life ebbs and flows. Rather like a septic tank. Our top earner this week is Shiny with 5. Then we have Mary and Susan with 4 each. Followed by Matt, Kaige, Kyra, and Karl with 2 each. Our onesies are Nicholas, Tempest, Jennifer, Darla, Harris, Ann, Pussreboots, Adelle, The Absurdist, Turnbaby, Anthony North, Missy, Blufeenix, Euroyank, and Metalmom. Next week is our recap to date. We are getting very close to end of this Marcus contest. I'm thinking I should change up the criteria for the next round, but I'm still pondering that.

Before I sign off, I first want to say that Mr. Fabulous had the BEST show ever on Sunday night. It was the Big Honkin' Duet Show and the songs were fantastic! Some people were excellent singers, others were poor singers but such AWESOME sports, and others were just going for the laughs. All in all, a simply superb time was had by all. I may even lend my well trained but disease abused vocal cords to the next show. If my vocal cords are damaged beyond what sounds pleasant to the ear, I'll go for the laughs somehow. I know Fab will assist me ably there.

My last comment before bed is that if you ever wanted to know how to be a girly girl, please visit the Absurdist. She is taking us step by step through the whole process. This week... eyelashes. How to make sure that you have some to bat at men. Heh. An excellent video tutorial. Have a great Monday everyone!