Media Marcus Monday

This is a media day as well as a Marcus Monday! First off, the awesome Hilly from Snackie Radio had me as her guest on her show yesterday afternoon. Below is the podcast for the show, if you missed it. We talked about all kinds of stuff from writing about vampires, where I'm from, whether I've seen dead people at my work, and how I almost got karled or fabbed. We also talked about Karl's junk, because um, everyone is talking about Karl's junk. Thanks for having me on Hilly!

(If you're looking for the podcast, email me. I'll send you a link.)

The next little bit of media I have to share with you is that I am guest posting at The Absurdist today. Chelle asked me to write about designer purses for her Girly Girl Series. Until I had to put all the purses on my bed and photograph them, I hadn't realized what a purse ho I really was. So in honor of all the purse sluts out there, and because I didn't do a tune last week, here is a purse song.

I have two pics of my favorite man this week. This is Marcus in a commercial for a laundry soap called REI. I think it's Swedish, but who cares really? All we really care about is that Marcus is NEKKID. This man is soooo beautiful. You're all really tired of me saying that, aren't you? I know it's true though. I have good taste. Since I almost got karled I haven't been putting my blog on my desktop, so now I can put Marcus out here in all his beautiful nude glory. I wish he would drop that box of soap though.

On the subject of commercials, Fab says he can totally find the Air France man. Cross your fingers and toes. I can hardly wait to find out the answer to this mystery. Fab will earn himself a fanged t-shirt if he finds this guy. You too can earn a fanged t-shirt by leaving a tagline for this blog in the comments of my post entitled Why Vampires?-A Contest. I am extending the deadline a few more days, because while I've received some really good ones, nothing has really, really leaped out at me as "the one". There are several I could totally live with, but I was hoping for one that just completely says ME.

Our Marcuses for this week go to: Mary, Shiny and Fab with 5 each, Matt, Marty, and the Absurdist with 4, Susan with 3, Jason X, Hilly, Avitable, Lady Rose, Xakara, and Karl with 2, and lots of folks with 1. It's three weeks to the next tally and all your tagline suggestions count. You've got the chance to win two contests here, unless you can beat Fab to the Air France guy, in which case you could win three!

OH! I forgot! I mentioned on Hilly's show that I used to have a hot boyfriend named Austin whom I went to a few swinger's parties with. We never participated, but we did go and check them out. So I promised everyone a pic so you could see that he was a very attractive man. Heh.



Thanks for coming by everyone. Don't get fabbed or karled this week. MUAH!

Marcus Monday - After the Duets Are Done

Before I get started on the fun stuff, everyone please send Kyra Sutra some positive energy. Things are not going so well for her, and she could use all the good wishes, comfort, and support we can give her. I wish she lived nearby so I could coax her to eat and take care of herself, and just give her a hug and let her know people care about her.

Since it's Marcus Monday and I'm bumming, I need a serious dose of my favorite hot guy today. Umm umm. He does look delicious there. Now, do you see why writing Alaric Kohl curls my toes? If you didn't read my guest blogger post by Lex and Car, you should. When they talk about Alaric, it's all about Marcus to me since Marcus is the physical representation of Alaric. He really does make my achy back feel better, just to look at him. Makes me wonder how he'd make me feel in person. I bet my back would get better right away. Heh.

Speaking of yummy men, three blogs with hotness come to mind. Jester, whom I only just checked out this weekend, has some hotness on his blog from Friday. The middle dude was yummo. He had the hottest eyes. The second hottie is David over at BellaDaddyBlog, who posted 2 pics. One was recent and the other was from when we were in high school. If you hop over to his blog you'll see that I sure can pick em. I always did have a good eye for a hot man. It helps that David is the sweetest, funniest guy ever too. The third hot dude is Karl from Secondhand Tryptophan. Karl has been writing about sex lately. He does this very well too. And his blog is looking smoking hot these days, all new and gorgeous. Stop by and check out these yummy dudes.

Did you check out the LOL cat pic I made on Sunday? It's Neko and Swirly. Neko whose name is now PREGO. Anyone want what is sure to be a beautiful *cough* maniacal *cough* kitten? Yes, my kid let me down once again. I know that this is what teens do to you, promise and lag at following through, but I am upset nonetheless. It does not help that the PITA tells me, "Things could be worse, Mom. I could be pregnant." I did not need to hear that.

So now, I am at the Marcus awards for this Monday. It was a slow week for reacharounds, er comments. Some bloggers were taking some time off. Others were just busy. And I'm sure some just didn't wanna read my shit. It's all good. Life ebbs and flows. Rather like a septic tank. Our top earner this week is Shiny with 5. Then we have Mary and Susan with 4 each. Followed by Matt, Kaige, Kyra, and Karl with 2 each. Our onesies are Nicholas, Tempest, Jennifer, Darla, Harris, Ann, Pussreboots, Adelle, The Absurdist, Turnbaby, Anthony North, Missy, Blufeenix, Euroyank, and Metalmom. Next week is our recap to date. We are getting very close to end of this Marcus contest. I'm thinking I should change up the criteria for the next round, but I'm still pondering that.

Before I sign off, I first want to say that Mr. Fabulous had the BEST show ever on Sunday night. It was the Big Honkin' Duet Show and the songs were fantastic! Some people were excellent singers, others were poor singers but such AWESOME sports, and others were just going for the laughs. All in all, a simply superb time was had by all. I may even lend my well trained but disease abused vocal cords to the next show. If my vocal cords are damaged beyond what sounds pleasant to the ear, I'll go for the laughs somehow. I know Fab will assist me ably there.

My last comment before bed is that if you ever wanted to know how to be a girly girl, please visit the Absurdist. She is taking us step by step through the whole process. This week... eyelashes. How to make sure that you have some to bat at men. Heh. An excellent video tutorial. Have a great Monday everyone!

Yes! I'm A Dork this Marcus Monday

Playing Quid Pro Quo with Turnbaby can be dangerous to your reputation. Well, I don't really have much of a reputation in the blogosphere yet. And really, I didn't say anything that all of you who come by here on Monday, didn't already know... I'm a dork. So when Turnbaby asks me if I could have anyone I want to do my bidding for 48 hours, who would it be? You know what my answer was. I popped off, "Marcus Schenkenberg."

Now, in and of itself, that's not a bad answer for a completely off the cuff, from the gut answer. Those of you who know how much I drool over this man are not expecting any other answer from me. But when that same question is posed to Turnbaby herself, her answer involves power. She chooses Dick Cheney. Then, on top of that, Turnbaby asks Kyra the same question. Kyra's answer is someone who is incredibly rich so she could have them transfer money into her bank account.

Do you see what's wrong with my answer now? Turnbaby goes for power. Kyra for riches. What do I go for? Forty eight hours of sex with a hot beautiful man. And I don't even know if he's any good in the sack! I coulda just made a totally bum choice there! And to make my choice look even more lame, the man was once engaged to Pam Anderson. I'm positive no one in the Blogosphere who was listening has any respect for me now. I would have gotten buttloads of respect if I had said Dave from Blogography or Karl from Secondhand Tryptophan. But, no. I gotta pick Marcus.

Since I can't do any worse on the reputation front after that sorry ass display on Sunday, here is an old video of Marcus. He looks pretty young here. Sounds it too. He totally is making me look like I made a poor choice with my Quid Pro Quo question.

That picture up there at the top of the post is a pretty recent photo of Marcus. It was taken in January of this year in Barcelona. Can you believe the man is 39? I can't. He's still younger than me which makes him totally stalkable. I really can't work up any interest for a man my age or older. It's just part of who I am.

And speaking of younger men, I have to give a shout out to one of my new readers. He's not new to me because I've been reading his blog for a couple of months now, but he came by here this weekend and tried to make me feel better about my battle with Wordpress. I'm talking about Jason X from The User Pool. This man's blog is some seriously funny shit. And the best part of it is... I don't think he's making any of it up. If you want to know what really goes on in the corporate world... read this blog. But don't drink while you read. You will spit your drink all over your monitor.

And now it's time for the weekly Marcus Awards. With 5 Marcuses each, Mary and Shiny (the female one) take top honors. They are followed by Matt and Susan with 3 each. Next is Fab and Vixen with 2 each. Our onesies of the week are, Nicholas, Livvy, Malcolm, Fullbodytransplant, Karl, Lara Angelina, Pussreboots, Open Grove Claudia, Nap Warden, and Jason X. The race to the first Marcus Award prize is very tight! I've made it more difficult for you all by whining this past week too. I commend you all for putting up with me and hope that you will continue to come by and roll your eyes at my inane babbling. Happy Marcus Monday!

Mucho Macho Marcus Monday

Say that title six times fast, eh? What a mouthful. I'm gonna grace this blog with some extra Marcus this Monday cause I feel like it. It was a very hot Easter here in CA. 90 degrees. Which was incredible for March. I freaking hate the heat. So I was sapped yesterday. That means I need more Marcus today!

Women seem to love a man in a kilt. Over at the BDB message board they have an entire thread devoted to men in kilts. Now, I don't mind a kilt on a hot hunk, but a kilt on Marcus? That is to die for! So here he is, our favorite supermodel, wearing a kilt. How many of you wish there was a high wind and you were sitting at the edge of that catwalk? I know I do. I'd pay for a peep. Although, I do have that pic of him in the white swim trunks... wet... outlining his stuff. I love that pic too. This pic really made him look quite masculine. Maybe it's the socks showing off those defined calves. I dunno. I just get shivery over it.

Next up is a pic that almost doesn't look like Marcus. I love it though because it shows him working out, and while I'm not into that sweaty look, I like it when the muscles are nicely bulging. Every time I see this pic, I wonder if the tatts are real. I don't think so, cause there are a lot of pics without the tatts. Not sure what he would have been doing that he needed the fake tatts for cept maybe an acting gig. He was on an episode of Pam's VIP show as Klozak. They used to have scenes in the gym all the time on that show. Gratuitous muscle and hot body shots. Oh, yum!

One last thing on Marcus... I bet you didn't know exactly how talented this guy was. Below, is a video for a song. Yes, it's Marcus singing. It's not bad. It's kinda Euro-trash-disco crap, but he doesn't mangle it. He's no Gunther after all. He's much better than Gunther. However, to stand out in that genre, you gotta be the shit. He's not. He's just decent. Not bad, but not great.

Before I get into the Marcus Awards this Monday, if you didn't listen to the Kyra Sutra on Blog Talk Radio last night, you should have! I called in! You would have heard my luscious voice. Okay, I didn't sound so luscious because Turnbaby was there and we all know how that Southern Belle accent of hers can give even the most hardy of us a hard on. Yeah, even us girls. Shiny (the guy) was on and he helped out all the men by asking Turnbaby to say PIE. It was an amusing show and you can listen to it by clicking on the player below.



And now for this week's Marcus Awards. Kyra, Mary, and Shiny (the gal) earned 5 Marcuses each. Woot! Next with 4 Marcuses is Mr. Fabulous. Our 3 Marcus winners are Matt and Susan. With 2 Marcuses each are the Absurdist and Vixensden. Our 1 Marcus winners are Nicholas, Tempest, Kaige, Jennifer, Darla, Xakara, The Gal Herself, Greg, Lyrical, ve, Shiny (the dude), Mo, Adelle, Open Grove Claudia, Lara Lee, Judi, Frigga, and Bluepaintred. Congrats to all the Marcus winners! We are three weeks away from our next recap so there is still a chance you can win this contest if you are a comment posting ho. To me, a comment is like a reacharound. It's the polite thing to do and it gives a lot of pleasure! So thank YOU for coming by and commenting!

Distracted Tuesday Tunes

No one mention Twinkies, okay? Oh, the inhumanity! No, I'm not talking about how my boss lives on the things. Although, that's kind of inhumane too. Or would be if he didn't love Twinkies...

On this lovely Tuesday, I have a tune for you! I hate remakes. Usually. But ya know, I came across this one by accident, and I really like it. I had a copy of U2 doing Paint It Black and it was good. Cause ya know, everything U2 does is freaking good. They are the best thing to come out of Ireland since St. Patrick told the snakes to take a hike. Well, not really. I think Guinness is the best thing, but I don't drink it personally so I have no frame of reference. Rott loves his Guinness Extra Stout though. BAH! The song, the song! Shit!

So I have this copy of Paint It Black. And it's cool. I love it. In fact, I'm pretty certain I love it more than the original. So take a listen to Vanessa Carlton!

Next week I might be persuaded to play Pussy Liquor... I know you all love Rob Zombie. If you don't, you'll like the song anyway I bet. Oh, hell. Here it is... I starting thinking about Dean aka The 109 and now Pussy Liquor is stuck in my head! It's a total sex song. A pole dancing song... pole dancing in a thong and Frederick's corset and some sexy suede ankle straps. Roger Vivier ankle straps... Ohhhhh, yesss... I am so getting off track every time I turn around in this post!



Now, Mary really dug on the hottie last week so I'm bringing him back. This guy's name is Roman. I only have three pics of him, the hot pic from last week, this week's Russian themed pic, and a head shot. I like last week's pic better than this one, but this one has a lot more skin to it. Can't argue with more skin. Although Marcus in a kilt is better than this guy in the flesh. They were talking about kilts on Sunday in someone's chatroom at BTR and all I could think of was the pic I have of Marcus in a kilt... Ohhhhh, yesss... See? There I go again with the distractions! Geez. What's up with me today? I wonder what Dean looks like in a kilt?


Since I always neglect the men, I decided to be nice to them today. Here is Kristen Bell. In the Bar Story, Kristen's the physical representation of Isolde Vespera aka Sol. If you happened to read that hot excerpt from the Bar where Weylyn has sex with Sol in a stall in the men's room at Wicked Pleasures, now maybe you can visualize it a little better. If you didn't read it the last time I posted it, click on Weylyn's name. Make sure you turn on a fan though.

Well, that's it this Tuesday. I've been distracted all over the place. I blame it on Kyra and Fab and Matt. Matt starts showing off his organ for Half Nekkid Thursdays. Then Fab posts massive boobage. And the biggest sinner of them all is Kyra posting Dean's hot naked butt. The camel kinda messed me up, but the ass was fine! Thank you all for coming by to laugh at me getting distracted!

PS To Commenters: Make it funny. And relevant to this post. Otherwise, if you're just coming here to smack about something from another blog, I'll use the power of the delete, cause ya know, it's all already old.

A Dooney Kyra Marcus Monday

I never got around to posting (or blog hopping - sorry everyone!) this weekend. I got totally wrapped up in the Bar, writing sex scenes, arguments, vamps drinking blood during sex, introducing a new character who is the Blood Mistress, turning a hot couple into a threesome, psychos trying to kill their ex-girlfriend with a crossbow... all kinds of stuff. I had a very busy weekend at the Bar! Whew!

Then on Sunday, I was mired in Blog Talk Radio. Fab's show was a little controversial. The 18 year old right wing Republican he had on made some comments about Iraq and she was sorta arrogant about it which totally pissed off Kyra, whose DH Dean is scheduled to go back there soon. Since I have a nephew who's been to Hell Iraq a few times, I took exception to the 18 year old as well. Even MY 18 year old did. Fab smoothed it over though (by humming Taps), and frankly, I don't think the kid even realized what she said, how she said it, or even sees anyone else's POV. Sad really.

Turnbaby had the president of BTR on. That was interesting. Playing Quid Pro Quo with him and John Sweet who had shut down Kyra the week before. After that Kyra came on and it was the FUNNEST and FUNNIEST show EVER! Fab was on and Turnbaby and Shiny (the guy Shiny, not MY Shiny who is a luscious female) called in... OMG. I still cannot stop laughing. Fab called my kid, Motley, and that was amusing. Motley laughed and laughed. It was so good Kyra had to add a half hour to her show. I'm not gonna say what all happened, but I will say this... DEAN IS THE SHIT. If you haven't been by Kyra's blog, you should go. You'll find a link on the right side panel.

So, I got the Dooney purse last week. I am still having orgasms over it. I want to sleep with it, but I fear I would get no sleep. Instead of inundating all of you with a dozen pics of the purse I will post just the one pic with Marcus (since it's Monday) and give you this link - Dooney Giraffe Purse. That is a little photo record of my first real Dooney purse purchase straight from Dooney online. At the bottom of that page is the purse I was trying to get from eBay the day my battery died. Now, I'm glad I didn't get it, because once I got a REAL one, I could so tell that the one on eBay was a fake! Anyway, I get all shivery when I touch the darn thing. It's nice to buy something expensive for myself once in awhile.

It's Monday, so I need to share Marcus with you all again. This is one of my favorite pics of him. I love him in underwear. It's so... suggestive. So... yummy. And this underwear pic is more suggestive than most. Loaded. Yup. My sense is that Marcus is definitely loaded. In the Bar, I sometimes post pics of Alaric (Marcus) and I've been saving this pic to use when Lex gives Alaric these underwear and makes a joke about the brand that is plastered all over his crotch. Of course, as many Alaric and Alexandria posts do, this one (when I write it) is slated to end in a lovely sex scene. There is nothing finer than a post with sex between Al and Lex.

And now, it's time for the Marcus Awards. This week we had a LOT of new people post comments. However, we still do not have the name of the Air France man. Don't forget there's a prize for that too. Here's our Marcus winners: Shiny and Mary got 5 each. Fab and Matt got 4 each. Susan, Kyra, and Tempest got 3 each. Everyone else, including my kid Motley, got one each. The list was so long I don't dare post it. I have it though, so not to worry. If you posted last week, I have your name!

The Marcus Award monthly recap numbers include the first month's recap as well, so it's a total to date, since we are at the half way point (sorta). Remember, this contest ends the last week of May and the prize will be awarded the first week in June, when the next 6 month contest starts up. At that point, if this blog is doing well, I may have to go to quarterly awards! WOOT!

Lots of people have won the Marcus Award since February, but I'm going to list only our double digit winners. If your name isn't listed and you want to know how many Marcuses you've earned, leave a comment and I'll reply with your total. At the halfway point, our leader is Mary with 24 Marcuses, followed by Matt-Man with 20, Susan with 17, Shiny with 16, Fab and Nicholas with 12 each, and Tempest with 11. I'm tempted to say, as Snackie does, Stalk Me Much? However, I happen to like this kind of stalking. I'll be excited to send out a prize to the winner in June. If you're not in the top 3, you still have a chance to win. Just read and post comments!

Have a great Marcus Monday and don't forget to come back around tomorrow for a tune and another pic of that hot guy I posted for Mary last week that had all you ladies drooling.

Marcus Monday Mutterings

So, I'm a little tweaked that my first night listening to Blog Talk Radio got censored. I really loved all the shows, but when the "network" guy pulled the plug on Kyra Sutra, I saw red. Apparently, he called her before her show even went on and gave her a tongue lashing. The bad kind, not the good kind. Stuff like that really, really irks me. I don't like it when people set themselves up as the arbiters of what is offensive. As far as I am concerned, HE was offensive. I have his email addy if anyone wants to email him some REAL smut.

Now, for Monday's luscious Marcus offering. There are so many to choose from, and he is just sooo beautiful... This is one of his younger pics. His hair's a little longer, his face less weathered. He's really just fantasically gorgeous. The weird thing is, I think I like him better in his 30's. Really. The body is just as hot, but there's something about the character of his face now that he's in his late 30's, that just really makes me shiver. I have a hard time separating Marcus' face from Alaric's personality, so here's a little taste of Alaric Kohl as written by his creator, Opalgirl:

We pull up to the Angel of the Waters Fountain, illuminated with lights the water sparkling in the night. I get out of the carriage and take a deep breath, then turn around and place my hands at her waist, lifting my Angel to the ground. We walk slowly to the fountain and stand in front of it. I wrap my arms around Lexie and rest my chin on her head. “Alexandria? I have something I want to say to you.”

Lex steps away and faces me, “What’s wrong Alaric?” I cursed myself seeing the panic in her eyes. Even after our joining she was still so very unsure. Hopefully, this would finally put her worries to rest.

I kneel down on one knee before her and remove the box from my pocket. “Alexandria Valentine McBain, you are my Beloved. The Angel of my heart and I was so very empty and lost until you invaded my dreams and eventually my soul. Would you grant me the privilege and the honor of being my wife?” I slowly open the box and show her the ring.

Her hands cover her mouth and tears start welling in her eyes, “Oh Alaric! Are you sure this is what you want? Because you don’t have to do this. I wouldn’t ever leave you unless you asked it of me. I don’t need this to know you love me.”

I slowly stand and walk over to her, “I want you, Alexandria. All of you. And most of all, I want the world to know it. I want you to have my name, wear my ring, be my wife, and mother of my children.” I take her hand and slide the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit. “And always, always remember that I am the lucky one. Lucky that you saw the worth in me and allowed me to love you. Not the other way around.” I cup her face and wipe away her tears with my thumbs. “So? You gonna marry me or what, Angel?” I smile down at her.

She nods, “Yes, I’ll marry you. I’ll take your name, I’ll wear your ring, I’ll be your wife and the mother of your children. All of it. I want all of it too, Alaric!” I bend down, capturing her mouth in a hard kiss, pick her up, and swing her around. She breaks the kiss laughing. “I love you, put me down you big giraffe!”

I set her down laughing, “Yeah, but I’m YOUR giraffe, angel.”

Whew! I need to cool myself off after that blast from the Bar past! There are a lot hotter posts, but just imagining Marcus saying those words makes the old ticker thump harder and faster.

Two more things and I can call it quits for today. First up is pimping. I've been reading up about pimping out my blog. All the reading has me thinking maybe I should change the name from Life or Something Like (B)it to It's All About the Bite or Bite Me. My little entrecard and my profile at BlogTalkRadio have the logo with "Bite Me" on it. What do you think?

Also, going hand in hand with the pimping, is that open slot on Fab's show. I kinda, sorta, tentatively, proffered myself to him for that guest slot. I am a BTR newb. I have no clue how it works or what to do or say. But if Fab wants me, I will pimp myself over to his show and try to be scintillating and sexy. BTW, That's a banner for Fab who is pimping himself out for a worthy cause. Please feel free to post that banner on your blog and link it to THIS March of Dimes campaign. Happy Birthday Fab! MUAH

More pimping of my blog: My rant is up over at Today's Gripe and you will find me splashed all over Blogs We Luv on the 11th. I'm learning the pimping ways of the Blogosphere!

My last thing to cover for this post is the Marcus Awards. Next week is our second monthly recap. We are halfway to a prize winner! WOOT! I can hardly wait to tally up the Marcuses to see who is in the lead. This week's leader was Susan with 6 Marcuses. She's followed by Mary with 5, and Tempest with 3. Matt, Jennifer and Kaige each earned 2 Marcuses. Our 1 Marcus winners were: Darla, Harris, Laura, Nicholas, Livvy, Shiny, and Mr. Fabulous. Newcomers Nicola Pedley, Ashley Ladd, Swubird, and Wendy each got 1 Marcus too. Congrats to all! Don't forget to come back and make meaningful comments to earn more Marcuses. And check back a week from today to see who is in the lead for a lovely gift with fangs! Happy Marcus Monday!

Mellow Marcus Monday

Ah, Marcus. He of the beautiful face. Today, I'm posting a pic of Marcus that does not show off his gorgeous body. Instead, this candid shot shows off the beauty of his face. The man really does have exceptional bone structure. I've seen a few pics of him where he's not as attractive as he is when they've got him all fancied up for the camera. But I've also seen some candid video of him where he shouldn't have looked very attractive, but did. I've seen nothing where the man looked downright ick. I don't think it's possible for him to.

Toward the end of this post I'm going to tell the story of how my award came to be named the Marcus. I have another pic of Marcus to post with it. Those of you who are romance readers, especially historicals, will recognize the period clothing. Trust me, the pic goes with the story of the Marcus Award.

I'm feeling rather mellow after a weekend of spending my money on the internet. I'm excited, of course, to have all the goodies show up at my office in the arms of the hunky FedEx or UPS men. It's nice when our cool mailman Tony brings it too, because he doesn't leave it downstairs. He brings it right to my desk. Well, in all honesty, my desk isn't far from where we stack the outgoing mail. But Tony knows me. He always asks me what I got on eBay this time.

There's nothing like the personal touch. I like it that Tony knows the names of everyone in my office. I like it that the tellers at my bank know who I am. I like it that the people in my nail place how much I tip and that I'll be be back in a week for either a polish change or a manicure/pedicure. I like it that our hair stylist remembers what she's done to our hair in the past. That personal touch is something I find worthy of my business. Which is probably why I buy almost everything on the internet now. No one gives personal service any more, so I might as well just buy on the net and save myself the hassles of trying to find a parking place.

As a follow up to yesterday's post, look for me on Blogs We Luv on March 11. Seems I was amusing enough in my 10 Questions answers that Tish came by to ogle the hotties post a comment. I've been blog hopping a little this weekend and looking at lots of blogs. I have to say that one in particular struck me in right in the funny bone as well as the brain. It's funny and very sharp. If you're interested in a blog that looks at the corporate life in a very different way, check out Jason X at The User Pool. I laughed so hard when I read this blog that I almost sprayed my Diet Ginger Ale all over my monitor.

Alright, time for the story of the Marcus Award. In the Bar Story, Alaric Kohl is physically represented by Marcus Schenkenberg, my favorite hottie. A couple of my earliest blog posts explain how I came hook up my character Lex Valentine with Alaric and why. During Lex and Alaric's "courtship", they get into a discussion of age and what Alaric was like during the eighteen century.

He took my hand and pulled me up. We walked upstairs hand in hand. “It’s weird to think of you doing the minuet and waltz and all those old fashioned dances,” I told him. “I woulda loved to have seen you in knee breeches and a cravat.”

He grimaced. “Dandy clothes. That was Luc’s thing not mine.”

I raised my eyebrows. “A Corinthian were you? The athlete?”

He shrugged. “More or less. Dressing up wasn’t as easy for me as it was for Luc. He’s still the best dressed Kohl. I’m not quite at the dressed down to Johann level, but somewhere between him and my brother.”

“But you do dance?” I questioned him as we went into the sitting room that adjoined our bedroom.

“My mother would have had a fit if I hadn’t learned,” he chuckled. “I waltz divinely. Even though I’m the size of a giraffe.”

“The despair of your mother because of your height hmn?” I quirked a brow at him and he made a face.

“Maybe. Still, I can dance.” He picked me up so my face was level with his and I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Does this qualify for dancing if I turn on a CD?” he laughed.

“Nope,” I told him. “Qualifies as foreplay. But only if I do this.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. He groaned and kissed me back.

So Lex finds out that Alaric's mother called him a giraffe. After that there's just a whole series of giraffe jokes and items throughout the story. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I started picking up little giraffe items right about then. At Christmas, Jen sent me a beanie baby... a little giraffe. I promptly named him Marcus and took a cell pic of him on my bed in pride of place. That pic became the Marcus Award.

This week there are lots of Marcus Awards to give out. Susan and Mary were the big winners with 5 each. They were closely followed by Matt and Tempest with 4 each. Then we have Xahara, Mr. Fabulous, Nicholas, and Shiny with 2 each. Our one Marcus winners were: Harris Channing, The Gal Herself, Darla, tipsandstricks, Kat, Kaige, YummY, Malcolm, Mr. Grudge, the Libertine, Tish and Jennifer. And finally, although she wasn't able to post this week due to some trouble with her laptop and then her landlord, Vixen of Vixen's Den gets a Marcus too. She managed to post her prior Marcus on her blog before all the trouble hit. My fingers are crossed that things start looking up for her very soon.

That's it for this Monday. Tomorrow we have a new tune, a hottie wallpaper for Mary, and maybe something from the Bar. Perhaps the slimy Macaire post unless something happens that I need to rant about. Happy Marcus Monday!

Save My Brain... Win A Prize!

My brain is overloaded and I am frustrated. I have been looking everywhere for the guy in this video. I saw an Air France commercial with a guy who looks like a skinny version of Marcus Schenkenberg. Shiny and I looked and looked for info on who the actor/model is. The longer I looked, the more tweaked I got. I HAVE to know who he is! In fact, I now need this info so badly, I'm willing to put up a prize for whoever can find out who this is, with proof that he's the dude in the commercial. So posting in comments that it's Joe Blow the model won't cut it. Show me a link to a story with pics or a website, something, anything, that proves your submission is the correct dude. If you find the Marcus look alike you will win this prize: A lovely Bar t-shirt! Oooooh! It has fangs...

Here's the video, your only clue:


Okay, now that I've got that off my chest, it's time for a Tuesday tune. This band was popular in Southern California in the 80's. They partied with all the best bands of the era, Motley Crue, Ratt, etc. The lead singer's name is Jizzy Pearl. He used to have a website with webcams from every room in his house. LOL The people from the KNAC.com chatroom used to hang out in chat and watch Jizzy. It was hysterical some nights because he'd be falling down drunk and do weird shit. Mary, this should be one of your theme songs. I'm posting this for you, cause they say the F word every other line!


Now, for some eye candy for the women. Well, for Mary. This is a wallpaper. There is no pretty boy face to see here. Nuthin' but carved male muscles... all grungy like, and so real you can smell the sweat. I have to say he doesn't do much for me. I need a face with eyes that devour me. So all of you who, like Mary, enjoy an anonymous hard body that looks like it could take a licking and keep on ticking... click on this for the full size and download to your desktop.

One last note and then I have to go come up with a plausible excuse for begging off jury duty. Tuesday night I have a fluffy appointment. My hair has gotten so long I can tuck it into my pants in the back. The ends are ratty and stringy and not healthy. So I'm going to get it cut. If I'm feeling really brave, and let them talk me out of my hard earned dollars, I will get it colored too. If I do this and I like it, I'll have the PITA take a pic of it for Wednesday's blog. Thanks for reading!

Roaring Into Another Marcus Monday

Yes, it is Monday again. I'm almost glad that it's Monday. This past weekend was a doozy. First up, here's our Marcus picture for the week. Now, I know I went a little overboard with pics last week and Marcus was in every post I made. However, in my defense, the women all liked him, and the men didn't pipe up and tell me to stick Marcus where the sun don't shine. So this week, to keep we women moving forward in a positive manner, here is Marcus on a motorcycle. Such a manly pic. Almost as manly as the one where you can see the head of his um, you know, through the wet white swim trunks. Just thinking about that pic makes the day go better for me. Today's pic just adds to the enjoyment.

Now that I am suitably sedated by Marcus, I'll tell you my tale of weekend woe. I'm watching the giraffe purse on eBay, remember? The auction ends at 4:20 pm Pacific time. Well, at 12:30 I go out to the bank to pull out some lovely refund cash. I'm waiting in line watching this guy roll across the floor in his office chair. I start thinking about my 10 year old beat up office chair at home. Then I start thinking of how my back's been out for several days, aided and abetted by the broken back on my desk chair. I decide to walk across the bank parking lot to Office Depot and get a new chair once I've made my withdrawal.

Turns out Office Depot is now closed. It's moved to a new location. So I get in the car and head out to Staples. You're thinking, what a boring set of errands. Why is she telling us this shit? Heh. Did I mention it was supposed to rain? Did I also mention that since I was only going to the bank and then home, and it wasn't raining when I went out, I left the house in flip flops with no jacket? You're laughing now. I can hear it.

At Staples, I get a chair for $50. Black leather even. Didn't even take much time. The clerk rang it up, wheeled it out to my car, and wedged it in the backseat. That's when my weekend turned to shit. I got in the car and it wouldn't start. Fuck me. So I call my kid and tell her the car won't start. I tell her I'm gonna wait a few minutes and try again. After all, the dumb thing's been acting up a little recently. Twenty minutes later, still not starting. So my kid calls a couple friends to come and give me a jump.

The PITA and I are yakking about the eBay auction, and I'm eyeing the time with a jaundiced eye. 2:10. Not long after that Aaron and Ashley show up. Forty minutes later, after waiting for the car next to me to leave so Aaron can pull his Explorer up to the Intrepid, and after the kids have fumbled the jumper cable thing a couple of times, a nice Joe Citizen comes along and resets the cables, revs the Explorer's RPMs up, and voila! My Intrepid fires right up.

Now it's almost 3 pm. The PITA tells me not to come home. She says the smart thing to do while the car is running is to go replace the battery. I'm whining that I want to go home. Did I mention that all through the jumper cable thing, it was fucking pouring rain? It's stopped at this point, so I look at my flip flops and sigh. I hate it when an 18 year old is right. So I drive to Pep Boys. It's now twenty past 3, and the Pep Boys guy is telling me it'll be an hour to an hour and a half before my car will be done.

I grit my teeth, start walking across the parking lot to Marie Callender's, and pull out my cell phone. I give the PITA my username and password for eBay and have her pull up my watch list. The giraffe purse has less than an hour to go, and it's still at the same price. I heave a sigh of relief, and go into the restaurant. Half an hour later, I'm picking at a Frisco burger and drinking coffee to get warm. My phone goes off. Text from the PITA. The purse is up to $223. Well, shit. At this point, it's not really a bargain anymore. If I have to pay $5 more than the current bid, I might as well have bought a brand new set from Dooney and Bourke. I tell the PITA to forget it.

As I'm walking back across the parking lot at the same time the auction is ending, it starts to rain. No jacket. Wet slippery flip flops. Fuck me. I see my car being backed out of the bay as I approach. I pay and get in the car to drive home. When it fires up I find the silver lining to my cold, wet, miserable weekend. My car didn't pass smog because of 1 single thing. The check engine light was on and no one knew why. I'd been resigned to spending a grand for the mechanic to trace the problem through the electrical system. When I started the car, the check engine light was off. It stayed off the whole way home. Fuck me again. But this time in a good way.

The PITA carried the office chair in for me and put it in front of my desk. I huddled in it, wearing my fleece jammies, trying to get warm, while I thought of that stupid $100 battery. There are times in life when you say, "I'll be damned." Sometimes you say it when it's not really worth it. This time it really was.

Okay, the Marcus Awards for the past week shake down this way: Mary was a busy bitch and earned 5. Matt earned 4, but he gets an extra Marcus because he gave me a COW. Nicholas didn't give me grief for being fluffy so he ended up with 5 as well. So 5 Marcuses each for Mary, Nicholas, and Matt. Jason from Gorilla Sushi admitted that his computer has the same name as mine! WOOT! I am not alone! Two Marcuses for Jason along with Shiny, Susan, and Mr. Fab. Our one Marcus award winners are: LadyRose, Darla, Karen, TwoPugs, Shawny, Tempest Knight, Denise, and Kaige. Feel free to post the Marcus on your blog!

BTW, did you realize yet that Marcus' photo was taken on my bed? Heh heh. Where else would a Marcus belong? Have a happy Marcus Monday!

Confessions of a Secret Fluff

Twelve steps work for some people. I don't think it would work for me. I mean, I don't think anyone would take me seriously if I got up in front of the group and said, "Hi. My name is Winter and I'm secretly fluffy. I have an obsession with... designer handbags." I am fluffy. Girlie. Googly eyed over some really feminine things. I never used to be like this. I used to be a much more hardy soul. As I get older though, I find myself liking some of these freakishly feminine things. Things that are distinctly... fluffy.

Now, I promise not to post my kid's baby pics or give you a TT with 13 reasons why I love my old man, but c'mon. I've subjected you to my purple toes already! So you know I like to do the pedicure thing. Well, I've graduated. I now do the pedicure AND manicure thing. I even buy my own OPI polish so I'm not using the salon's watered down stuff. I have a thing for OPI's Russian Collection. Currently, my fingers have on Russian Navy and my toes have Affair in Red Square. I have Siberian Nights, Midnight in Moscow, and Catherine the Grape too. Manicures and pedicures are fluffy things. You do not give a shit about my manicure and pedicure, do you?

Well, I'm copping to the mani/pedi thing only as a preface to showing you how serious my illness truly is. I came home yesterday wiped out from more than 10 hours at the office without lunch and nary a break. I checked taxbrain.com and lo and behold, my refund has hit the bank. CHA CHING. What did I, in my exhausted state, do? I went to eBay. I went to eBay and typed in 3 little words. DOONEY AND BOURKE. $86 and a matching star purse and wallet later, I left eBay and went to... uh huh, you guessed it... dooneyandbourke.com. I checked out the price of the giraffe print purse I've been lusting over for months. I checked out a cool bracelet. I put them both in the shopping cart and almost had a coronary. The cart was almost $300 once tax and shipping was slapped on. Holy Handbags!

Okay, I saved the cart. I did not check out. That was the first non-fluffy thing I'd done since I got home, if you discount sitting in front of the computer in my underwear and a ratty Eddie Bauer t-shirt. I went back to eBay... and found that same giraffe print bucket purse WITH a matching wallet going for less than the price of the brand new giraffe print purse. I put in a bid and someone promptly topped me. After that, I put the item on watch. I've been watching since last night. The auction ends tomorrow. I have not yet decided to buy the purse. Even though it is used, if it goes for less than $200 it is a steal. So, I'm watching.

While I'm watching tonight, after yet another 10+ hour day with no lunch break, I find a Dooney bracelet. This one has charms on it... fucking PINK charms. Ooooh. The one in the cart at Dooney's website doesn't have charms and is $55 + Tax + Shipping. This one is less than $50, has free shipping and no tax. At 3 minutes left in the auction, I'm a click fiend. The bracelet is now mine.

So, do you think that has satisfied my girlish obsession for awhile? Nuh uh. I'm still watching the giraffe purse. I still lust after it more than I lust after Matt-Man's knobby knees and tented boxers. I lust after it more than I lust after Marcus. *GASP* That is like the ultimate fluffy confession. That I want a giraffe print designer handbag more than Marcus Schenkenberg. I suppose it's because the purse is attainable, and Marcus, to my everlasting dismay, is not.

I am mostly sardonic in nature, but deep inside me there is a fluffy feminine girl who buys designer purses, paints her toenails purple or red, loves getting a manicure and pedicure, and... wants a Tiffany padlock pendant. *sniff* I'm sorry. I know you all thought I was above that girlish squeeing behavior. Go ahead. Feel free to call me a poser. I feel like one. Take away my Dooney camera bag purse with the rainbow candy colored zipper. I deserve your scorn. Maybe I'll make up for it by giving Mr. Fabulous a cleavage shot in a Frederick's of Hollywood black satin corset to post for his cleavage contest. After all, no self respecting fluff, who adores Victoria's Secret, would buy her corset at Frederick's. I, however, wouldn't think of buying it anywhere else but the last bastion of skanks and sluts. I guess there's hope for me after all.

Double the Marcus This Monday

I lied. I was supposed to get another piece of my writer and her hot model blog story written. I posted on this blog that I would do it to ensure that I would. I lied. Circumstances conspired to exhaust me and it didn't happen. I am such a lame ass bitch. I don't even have a good excuse. Stuff happened. The writing didn't. I'm off today. I'm hoping I can get to it between the laundry and my manicure/pedicure and my other writing duties.

Okay, on to Marcus Monday. I'm not at work so I don't need as much positive reinforcement as I usually do. However, I will do anything for an opportunity to shamelessly drool over Marcus, so here he is. This week I'm picking a more naked pic because I'm at home. You see, every morning at the office, I make a screen shot of my blog and use it as my desktop wallpaper. On Mondays, I can't post pics of an almost nude Marcus because then he would end up on my desktop and someone might question it. Today, I can bask in the beauty of the Marcus without fear of reprisal.

Now, my friend Mary always comes by to see what Marcus pic I've posted. Mary, being the kind of bitch that she is, thinks Marcus is good looking, but he doesn't spin her wheels. She prefers a more rugged man. Never mind that MY Marcus can actually play soccer, he's still a pretty boy and not a pro. So, just for my bitch Mary, here is a more rugged, pro soccer playing Marcus. Marcus Hahnemann. He's not so bad on the eyes and I bet he has great muscles.

This week was a busy week for comments on my fledgling blog. Matt-Man, Shiny, and Mary each earned 3 Marcuses! WOOT! Mr. Fabulous and Nicholas each got 2. Jennifer M., Susan G., Avalon, Vixensden, and Dane Bramage each earned 1 Marcus. Now, I need to pause here for a moment to give out a couple of extra Marcuses. Fab said my Marcus Award was a chick magnet, and I nearly spit up my Diet Dr. Pepper, so he gets an extra one. Matt actually posted the Marcus Award on his blog so he gets an extra one too.

So now for a recap of the first four weeks of the Marcus Awards. Shiny is in the lead with 6 Marcuses! Close behind her, with 5, is Matt. Then, there's Mary with 4. Next, we have Kaige, Nicholas, and Mr. Fab with 3 each. BellaDaddy and Jennifer M. each have 2. Those with one each are: Greg, Livvy the English Courtesan, Trotter, Susan G., Vixensden, Avalon, and Dane Bramage. Thanks to everyone who posted in the last month, especially in the last week, and an extra special thanks to Matt for posting the Marcus. Whew! If I didn't know how to use my Canon calculator, I woulda been in trouble counting all the Marcuses. Heh.

My final thought for this Monday is that NASCAR has never been the same for me since Davey Allison died. I tried to watch the Daytona 500. I had it on for the pre-race BS, but I could only manage to pay close attention to the last 90 minutes of the race. The pre-race show had a single highlight for me... Dario Franchitti. I love hearing the man's Scottish brogue. Davey's win in 1992 was mentioned a couple of times, but I don't recall anyone talking about his death, although Dale Earnhardt's and Neil Bonnett's were mentioned. I really liked Davey and I'm sorry he's gone. Five races from now, Dale Jarrett won't be driving the UPS truck around the track in those commercials either. Seems like the end of an era. No, wait. The end of an era would mean Kyle Petty cut off his ponytail. I checked an AP photo from Thursday. It's still there.